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Funny Quotes

Quotes Changing Your Life Better.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Ron White

Working for President Nixon was the most extraordinary professional experience of my life. He was endlessly fascinating: brilliant; visionary; kind; generous; warm; funny – and yes; a good man. – Monica Crowley

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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea; then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh; they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

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Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin; Richard Pryor; Bill Cosby; or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there; no doubt; but as far as the quality of the comics goes; I think what you have is a bu – Chris Rock

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There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context. If you translated something into French and then had it translated back into English by somebody who didn’t know the original; you’d – Tom Stoppard

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You need to be silly to be funny. – William Shatner

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I gave a funny speech at my wife’s birthday party; and I’m thinking; ‘Hey; I’ve still got it.’ – Larry David

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Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. – Jennifer Aniston

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I realized my family was funny; because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. – Anthony Anderson

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I think Irish women are strong as horses; incredibly loyal and for the most part; funny; witty; bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality. – Fionnula Flanagan

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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. – Mitch Hedberg

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I think we’re all good and bad; but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out; and then you can be funny. – Larry David

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I’m not funny. What I am is brave. – Lucille Ball

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The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas. – Rob Manuel

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Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it’s over. – Nicole Holofcener

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When I’m on stage; it’s really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour; trying to remember my act; trying to say it all the right way. It’s funny how different it looks and how it’s happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head; and out – Steven Wright

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It’s funny: people who meet me say; ‘I thought you’d be different.’ But I’m still the same guy. – Bill Engvall

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It’s funny because everyone says; ‘Oh you’re reclusive; you don’t do social media;’ but it’s not about being reclusive. I like direct contact; and I like contact that’s purposeful. – Banks

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I read the script for Wonder Boys; and I said that was almost perfect; it was so classy; cool and funny. It’s a really specific thing. We stuck to it; it turned out good and a lot of people liked it. – Robert Downey; Jr.

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Life’s pretty funny when you’re objectively on the outside looking at it. – Philip Seymour Hoffman

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Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn’t get serious with people. They don’t expect it from you; and they don’t want to see it. You’re not entitled to be serious; you’re a clown. – Fanny Brice

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I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny – partly because I experience discomfort a lot; and it’s a way of laughing at it and getting a release. – Joaquin Phoenix

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My parents are both very funny but they’re also relatively soft-spoken; normal human beings while I’m just a lunatic. I don’t know where this loud; ballsy; hammy ridiculousness came from. I’m just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It’s not – Emma Stone

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I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it’s funny; because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings; though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as – Sophia Bush

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I think we’re the only jokeless show on television. I mean really; we have no setups and no punch lines. It’s not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part – Rainn Wilson

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At the end of the day it’s got to be a good movie; it’s got to be a funny movie; and it’s got to make people think; ‘Hey; I couldn’t have spent my time any better.’ – Tom Hanks

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If something is shocking without being funny it’s hard to justify. – Seth MacFarlane

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Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes; which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. – Arthur Smith

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Whatever is funny is subversive; every joke is ultimately a custard pie… a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. – George Orwell

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Paul Taylor’s ‘Offenbach Overtures’ has lots of zip and charm; and its pair of dueling soldiers in red; who end up starry-eyed about each other while their disgusted seconds take up the quarrel; is nonstop funny. – Robert Gottlieb

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I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean; acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job. – Christian Bale

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It’s a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable; given how ugly they are. We’ve got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons; we’ve explored some of the secondary characters’ personal lives a bit more. – Matt Groening

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I grew up in a time when women didn’t really do comedy. You had to be homely; overweight; an old maid; all that. You had to play a stereotype; because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny – because it’s powerful; it’s a threat. – Lily Tomlin

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What I like about the jokes; to me it’s a lot of logic; no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense; or it won’t be funny. – Steven Wright

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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals; when their cheery effect is needed. – P. J. O’Rourke

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I guess when you turn off the main road; you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. – Stephen King

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‘Come out’ is so funny to me because I’ve never been in. – Adam Lambert

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When people say ‘Charlie Chaplin’ I still think now of the guy in the moustache and bowler hat and funny walk – I don’t think of an old man who was my grandfather. – Oona Chaplin

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I am interested in shows that are not out-and-out gag fests: you see the truth of a broken heart behind them. That is what life is like: it’s really funny; you see funny things as soon as you step out of the room; but underneath that is a whole bag of bro – Tamsin Greig

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I’ve been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001; I had made a funny black-and-white film called ‘How to Dance Properly;’ a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday; and by Monday; one milli – Ze Frank

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Humor has to surprise us; otherwise; it isn’t funny. It’s a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it’s not a surprise anymore. – Garrison Keillor

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What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody; it was funny – but when I do it; it’s not? – Sam Kinison

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I’m very lighthearted; outgoing; friendly; and funny; so I like to try new things. – Chandler Parsons

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I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect; and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. – Greg Boyle

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I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go. – Gertrude Stein

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It’s funny; I’m very analytical in my real life; but in terms of my films; I try to not analyze them at all and let things just go into them and let them be what they are. I mean; people ask me to this day what ‘The Squid and the Whale’ stood for; and I h – Noah Baumbach

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I know my strong points: I work hard; I have talent; I’m funny; and I’m a good person. – Pink

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Sometimes I can’t believe I’m going to be 60. I always say there’s no point moaning about getting older; when there’s nothing you can do about it. But still; I do find it quite funny. I look at that number; 60; and I think; ‘Really? Me?’ – Twiggy

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Something about New York; man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny; New York is the place to go. – Dave Chappelle

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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria – not necessarily by choice – but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren’t there. – Zach Galifianakis

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I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn’t do anything funny. And I don’t like books where there’s a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever; snotty girl. That’s just not my experience with teenagers. – Patrick Ness

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